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[03 Nov 2009|01:19pm]
I completed a game at last. Grand Theft Auto IV effectively stole my free time for a while. Niko Bellic, I salute you.
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[03 Nov 2008|06:36pm]
Late in the day but I really do hate Russell Brand and I am shocked it has taken that whole load of crap last week to get the goblin faced twat off the BBC (whenever I switch the radio on, he's on. Bastard). Those bandwagon jumping fools who complained though, I would have had him thrown off all telly and radio years ago for breaking the Trade Descriptions Act when describing himself as a comedian. I support abortion so that any Brands of the future will not be born. I support abortion anyway (children are tedious annoyances at best) but especially so now.
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[16 Oct 2008|11:03am]
Dylan Moran on Tuesday was wonderful, extremely funny. Especially when he ripped that girl to shreds for taking too many fucking pictures. Watch the show and enjoy instead of spending your time taking pictures of the thing you are supposed to be watching, stupid cow.

Would Americans please vote for Obama as he has a brain, uses it and hasn't picked a vice president who thinks that anyone is who isn't a white, middle class American should be wiped off the face of the earth, hasn't a fucking clue what she is on about wants to push back women's rights so that we once again return to the sole purpose of being incubators. I mean Sarah Palin as vice president, really? I thought we had it bad with Jacqui 'I'm all for human rights but I reserve the right to lock up anyone for forty two days without charge for any reason I feel like on the grounds that you may be a terror suspect, though in all likely hood you put paper in a bottle bin' Smith. Good God.

My hatred for PETA has grown. 'Use breast milk for Ben and Jerry's ice cream.' Would you just fuck off, you ignorant bastards. The practice of wet nursing killed countless number of babies, don't fucking put in the cookie dough tubs. Jesus wept.

I keep seeing suicidal workers coming out of Barclay's every day.
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[31 Aug 2008|04:20pm]
That Orangina 'Naturally Juicy' advert.

What the fuck?
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[17 Aug 2008|01:53pm]
Passed theory test. All practical knowledge has gone out of head now I have to do the proper test.

Hated people intensely.

Went out, got drunk, didn't regret it.

Hair was cut and dyed on Thursday, Gone to pieces now it has been washed and sorted out by me. C'est la vie
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[15 Jul 2008|08:10pm]
Recent events.

Went to Berlin. It is beautiful, I would like to reside there one day. Spoke bad German, saw my auntie, drank a lot of beer and found some good clubs.

Saw The Brian Jonestown Massacre. Met up with Toni and Duncan. Wore unsuitable shoes, became crippled, borrowed some from Toni, met Anton Newcombe and was not at all scared, got horrendously drunk and then staggered home on the day after and was the token drunk fuck on the train platform.

Been pissed off at work on various scales.

Spent a reasonable amount of money. This will go wrong soon, I can feel it.

Booked my theory test, hopefully the practical will go well and then I can further contribute to the rising CO2 levels but I couldn't care less.
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[03 Apr 2008|07:50pm]
I really hate Adrian Chiles. He is everywhere, the smug twat.Surely it is only a matter of time before he brutally murders Gary Linekar to host Match of the Day and eat Walker's Crisps.
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[29 Mar 2008|06:17pm]

Read moreCollapse )
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[10 Mar 2008|06:31pm]
Some people get their highs from crack and heroin. I get mine from Vimto.
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[04 Feb 2008|06:17pm]
I saw No Country For Old Mn yesterday. It was wonderful.

However, before I wax lyrical about how good it is I feel I must say this.

Javier Bardem, I would. Even with the Monkees hair.
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Joys [27 Jan 2008|09:31pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

I am not looking forward to next week in the slightest. All I need to decide in on what scale of torture work will occur.

Level 1: Mild discomfort, a few dirty looks from a certain someone
Level 2: Painful, dirty looks and snide comments from the same person, varying degrees of the desire to hack them to bits
Level 3: Torture, all of the above, an argument and a few accusations with me just about not smacking them stupid
Level 4: Full scale Anton Chigurh levels of madness, with everything above, including prolonged sessions with that little pump thing he blows peoples brains out with and coin tossing, with the best of de Sad thrown in for good measure.

I'm inclined to think level 2 will be the starting point and I will work my way from there.

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A list of people I wish horrible accidents befall this year [06 Jan 2008|05:52pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Just so I won't have to look at them seemingly everywhere I go or be scammed out of all my money.

Sienna Miller. Please dear God, just give her the clap and be done with it. Take her sister down with her too.
Peter 'to poetry what Rosemary West was to parenting' Docherty
Kate Moss and her wispy fringe
Kate Moss' boyfriend who looks like Gollum
Rhys Ifans
Anyone else who lives in Primrose Hill
Kate Nash
The Hoosiers, possibly the most dreadful band I've heard in a long while. Death by bottling at Leeds or Reading would be apt.
The bastards who run the energy companies
Gord Almighty
Heather Mills, the moaning cunt.
Paul McCartney, the Scouse cunt.
Anyone who graces the NME as 'the greatest band since The Libertines' as they will inevitably be shite and also end up in every paper going
50 Cent
Whoever runs the Daily Express for failing to understand that 95% of people accept that Princess Di is dead because she had no seat belt on and was in a car driven by a drunk driver. Get over it.
accept that Princess Di is dead because she had no seat belt on and was in a car driven by a drunk driver. Get over it.
Colleen and Wayne
Footballer and Wag
Posh and Becks
Britney Spears
Geri Halliwell
Lily Allen

Twats until the end, the lot of them.

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[03 Dec 2007|04:50pm]
Josh Homme is easily one of the sexiest people in the world.

That is the only comprehensible thought my brain can forumlate after last night.
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Stolen from a whole host of folks. [13 Oct 2007|12:04pm]
1. Name a movie you have seen more than 10 times.
Dirty Dancing

2. Name a movie you've seen multiple times in the theater.
God knows, I don't really go to the cinema that much anymore. I think it must have been East is East years ago.

3. Name an actor who would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Benicio Del Toro, adore.

4. Name an actor who would make you less likely to see a movie.
Sienna 'I'm going to moan about being famous even though the only reason anyone has a clue who I am is because I lay on my back for Jude Law' Miller.

5. Name a movie you can and do quote from.
Dirty Dancing (nobody puts Baby in a corner)

6. Name a movie musical in which you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Chicago and The Sound of Music

7. Name a movie you have been known to sing along with.
Disney's Robin Hood. Oh how cutting edge these answers are.

8. Name a movie you would recommend everyone see.
Waterloo Bridge

9. Name a movie you own.
Loads, um Sin City off the top of my head/

10. Name an actor who launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Is there anything David Bowie can't do?

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in?
Yes, Shrek at T in the Park. Middle of July and it was still freezing, fucking Scotland.

12. Name a movie you keep meaning to see but you just haven’t gotten around to yet.

13. Ever walked out of a movie?
Sone awful horror film which wasn't remotely scary or bad enough to find amusing.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
I don't think I have. I cried when Madge died in Neighbours though.

15. Popcorn?
No. Malteasers all the way

16. How often do you go to the movies?
Once every few months

17. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I advise people to watch it drunk.

18. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
I like most genres

19. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
The Lion King.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
The Man In The Iron Mask with Leo whathisname. It was terrible but we couldn't get in to see another film.

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
Damage. It was so bad it was easily the greatest film I may have seen

22. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?
It. Fucking clowns. I was terrified before everyone else jumped on the bandwagon

23. What is the funniest film you have ever seen?
I don't know. Damage is a strong contender.
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[30 Sep 2007|03:48pm]
My mother is a genius. I now have two Queens Of The Stone Age tickets direct from the promoters despite the gig seeling out a week ago. Mum, I salute you. 2nd December at Manchester Apollo, I am a happy woman.

The weather is starting to get nippy so now I'm earning I thought I might as shop it all away. I need a black leather jacket, glittery tights and hats, a red knitted dress, a black knitted dress, a pink belt, a black and a brown cord skirt and jumpers so I won't freeze. As usual the wonderful Met Office has given out conflicting warnings saying we're in for a mild winter and thn changing tack and stating actually we're going to freeze our bollocks off. They did it this year 'oh summer is going to be so hot' and it pissed it down for three months. I blame Michael Fish for all this, even though he doesn't do the weathr anymore.

I found out you can't get volunatry sterilisations. How bizarre, the likelihood of me every wanting to squeeze brats out is slim to none. I've spent a week in agony waiting for a period to arrive.

Work is wonderful, I may now have to beg and/or rob a bank to fund a law course now which will be fun. Becoming an alcoholic once I get there is an optional extra though judging by recent times I must be a third of the way there anyway. Weekends pass to quikckly though but I have Wednesday off so I care not.

I have lost all ability to write= up shit creek.

I'm waiting for the chance to listen to White Chalk properly. It's vry haunting so far. NME gave it 7 out of ten, however NME also think Kate Nash and Pete Doherty are poets for our generation. Clearly Pete Doherty and Kate Nash are to poetry what Fred and Rosemary West were to parenting.

How people have never gone a rampage in Tesco is a mystery to me. I would have quite happily taken out the world's slowest packer today. Pay for your shit first and then carry on packing you badger haired twat. There must be drugs they can give for this.
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[14 Sep 2007|07:04pm]
Some long HP thing I did whilst boredCollapse )
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I am surpassing myself [19 Jul 2007|08:22pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Regarding Deathy Hallows apart from the one tiny spoiler I read (and to be honest I'm undecided whether it is real or fake) I have resisted all temptation to peek. I reckon tonight will be the final time I will check my emails until the big read has finished and then I shall let rip on what I think. I stress the following things I write are my own hopes and are NOT spoilers of any shape or form. I'll say this too. DO NOT SPOIL ME. DO SO AND I MAY HAVE TO KILL YOU. Ahem.

Hopes for DH.

1. Tonks dies. I really seriously hope that this irritating blot on the HP books since OotP is snuffed out in a horrible, painful way as befits such as horrible, painful character. She makes my nose bleed. She's like Bill Weasley in the fact that I think that J.K thought 'I know, I'll be down with the kids' and inserted two characters who are meant to be the first and last word in cool and really aren't. More like they are embarrasing relatives at family parties who try and breakdance or old people who drive in open top cars with Kiss FM blaring out. She has pink hair. Big fucking hoo ha. Elderly ladies have a light shade of lilac hair after a blue rinse. Doesn't make them rebels does it? Regarding Bill Weasley, there is nothing cool in this day and age about men with ponytails. In fact that's never been cool. Even people with mullets and taches mock men with ponytails.

2. Harry and Ginny was horrendous and should never be repeated again so hope two. If I'd have wanted to read this Lily and James Version 2.0 (as J.K in her mistaken attempts at 21st century youth culture would likely say) I would written it myself. As I didn't write it and I have a fully functioning set of eyes and the ability to read I didn't want to read it. It was awful. Dudley Do Right Saviour of the World Harry and Girl Power Ginger Spice Ginny was not on my agenda. Besides, the entire broo ha ha could be summed up by listening to Depeche Mode's Master and Servant.

3. Regulus, shine on you crazy diamond.

4. If we are getting rid of Tonks we may as well bump off Lupin whilst we're at it. Possibly one of the blandest characters in literature. I really hope should he die that Snape does it. In scene that reminds us all happily of Buffy because really Oz was a far better werewolf that Lupin. Oz was laid back and chilled, Lupin is just a boring fart. Either that or all along he is has been evil in which case he would be redeemed in my book because noone is that dull intentionally. Or he kills someone. Hopefully Tonks in a fit of rage about her stupid fucking changing nose.

5. Speaking of Lily, I hope she is knocked off her pedestal as a combination of Mother Theresa, Princess Di and the Virgin Mary. Some people think her to be a wonderful caring person. I think that she is one of those kids at school everyone hated because they sat at the front looking smug when they got an A in everything.

6. If Ron/Hermione is going to happen then all I can hope is that it translates well enough to screen so that when the film comes out I'm not chewing my wrists off. It will be so predictable if it happens but hey anything's better than Harry/Hermione. If that happens I want my money back for being shit.

7. Free Lucius and Macnair. Free them I say.

8. That Voldemort actually becomes a proper villain. I swear to God Neville would be a better villain than that pillock. He is comparable to Doctor Evil from Austin Powers in fucking up the numerous attempts he has had to kill Harry. Plus he has those campy monologues that remind me always of Tom from Gimme Gimme Gimme. Or Jack from Will and Grace. I always expect Do Right to finish doing his angsty martyr thing and then LV to turn around and do a Simpson's steel worker waving his hand and going 'Oh be nice.'

9. I'd like to see more of Narcissa in her 3D role as ruler of the Malfoy household as well as concerned wife, mother and risk taker. If nothing it will stop those abused little wifey cliches that float around. And more Phineas Nigellus. I love him.

10. Dead Harry. If he dies I can laugh and add it to the times I laughed when Sirius, Cedric and Dumbledore died because I couldn't give a shit. He can take Ginny with him too.

On a non related HP notes, I have White Stripes tickts. Hopefully this time Jack White won't be a selfish man and have a fucking accident like last time. The fool.

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I am no longer a filthy layabout. [08 Jul 2007|08:06pm]
Yes, on Tuesday I graduated with a 2.1 in History from Manchester and am now entering the world of work. Finding a job is beyond tiresome but that's life. On my war amd memory module I got a 66, on the power and culture module I got 67 (which is good considering this is Leif's course) and on the dissertation from hell I am pleased to report I am first class with a 70 (also beyond amazing as I spent the year having Leif tell me it was shit.)

I have no idea what I want to do though I may use my talent for making people's lives a misery and take a law conversion course in a year or so. Then again I may not. Who knows. All I can think of at the moment is that Rome is on in about fifty minutes. Truly, Pullo and Vorenus are One True Love. This series of Location Location Location has been fantastic. That couple from Wilmslow were horrendous/hilarious. I loved how Kirstie demolished them in one fell swoop. Just because you have a big house in Cheshire does not mean you'll get a mansion in Glasgow. Morons. Further viewing this week will be The Secret War on Britain's Jews tomorrow on Channel 4. It looks as if it will raise many uncomfortable questions and I regret that next year I won't be at Manchester to see how the Trots deal with it.

Myself and Joe are off to Paris at the end of this month for a few days and then Germany in October. I think I may have to become a bit of a flanuer (though there is no direct female equivalent) but knowing me I will end up in a boulengerie and fall over in delight. Germany will probably result in alcohol poisoning. Oh well. I have an interview on Tuesday for financial administration. Why I have no idea but then again I need money to feed my shoe and dress habit. I have dresses that need the sun and it fucks off as per usual. This means we will have a horrible winter.

Our Love To Admire, tomorrow. Oh joyous happy days. Era Vulgaris is glorious. Tour, you lazy bastards.
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It's been the longest time [07 Apr 2007|05:41pm]
[ mood | hot ]

Not done one of these in a while so I might as well update on what happens in my ultimately not very thrilling life.

The bulk of my 12,000 words disseration on British people arsing around Berlin for various reasons in completed, managing to be erratic and dull at the same time. Does anyone actually care about why people went to Nazi Berlin apart from Nazis themselves, no. However by the end of May I shall be free and ready to get a job, which I am looking forward to. How nice.

I have my Willy Mason tickets, I am tracking down Soulwax and BRMC tickets and have decided against PJ Harvey at the Bridgewater Hall because £40 is too much. For shame, Polly, for shame. I am poor as it is. Besides she plays in July, when I am most likely in Berlin. Berlin, finally after years of moaning about wanting to go myself and Joe have decided on late June of early July after my graduation. Even better is that my auntie now lives in Berlin and we can stay at hers. All I need now is for the Interpol tour to be announced and I am a happy person.

I have had my hair cut today, it looks lovely and now that the weather (which is lovely) is getting nicer I won't have this manky hair all over the show giving me the general appearance of a crack addict. I need new dresses though otherwise I will boil in what I currently own.

The curse of evil next door neighbours continues. Not only do they have loud and deeply boring conversations well into the wee small hours but they had party a few weeks ago that was silent until 4.30 in the morning when Fall Out Boy (yes, Fall Out Boy) rang out and they all snag along. What kind of people deem those bunch of morons as acceptable party music. This Ain't A Scene etc is one of the word songs I have heard in years, up there with that Cascada woman and that new Kings of Leon one (does the singer have Downs or something? He pulls stupid faces) so why play it?

On happier note, play.com are wonderful people and have the new Soulsavers album on sale, which I have bought and all I need is for it to be delivered. Mark Lanegan on eight tracks and Will Oldham on another makes a good album. I'm not going to a festival this year, I can't spend another summer in a tent. Most people I know are going to Glatonbury though, after murdering a thousand others to get tickets. I haven't got the time or inclination to do that anymore. God, I sound old.

21 is an anticlimax, it is no different to being 20. They lie.

That's all.

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[24 Nov 2006|09:32pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

Thought I should update because I'm bored before I go out.

Two essays in two and a half days, both on subjects I couldn't give two hoots about. Oh happy times.

I appear to be ontime for Christmas this year presents wise, which almost never happens. Get in there. Plus people owe me money and I actually don't need it back, which is even better.

Muse at MEN a couple of weeks ago were lovely, Map of the Problematique was a highlight. Slightly ruined by friends of a friend bitching that Starlight wasn't the last song. Starlight is a shit song, what the fuck are you complaining about. Arseholes.

I have had a bit of Green Wing binge the past couple of days and as a result the Guy Secretan dreams are back in force. Joe selling me to Guy into an arranged marriage for 5 grand and a box of cigs, Guy dangling me over a very tall building in New York. Me and Guy lanuching into a destructive affair and him shooting me in the chest. Bastard. Gutted it is only coming back for a Green Wing Christmas episode and that it is. Sob.

The Secret Policeman's Ball on Channel 4 a few weeks back. How dare they cut out Dylan Moran, I am shocked. I got to watch the Boosh but already saw that on the tour. Russell fucking Brand and that very unfunny American woman, why? The Magic Number? Christ alive, idiots at channel 4. Bloody idiots.

I apologise, I've been drinking.

I have been to see two films in two weeks, Borat and Casino Royale. During Casino Royale the attendant called me a bond girl because I was the only woman in a ten mile radius wearing heels. Have standards dropped that much? Good Lord.

Ha ha, I have seen the Harry Potter trailer. Daniel whathisname looks like the worst kiss in the history of the world. Sort it out, son.

I had the misfortune of reading NME's Cool List the other day. That girl at number one. Her band is shit, she is shit, I don't know if the NME are trying to make some statement with having a clinically obese woman with horrendously hairy armpits number one but it put me off my dinner. I was looking forward to that sandwich too. Good God.

I hate third year. Damn you to hell Koshar, damn you to hell. Take your book with you too. Idiot.

I should go and get dressed now

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